It is so easy to see how life is out of our control.
Our brains quickly see all the things that we can’t change. It is way easier than seeing the things we can change, because that requires work.
When we blame other people or the circumstances of our lives, there is nothing we can do. As upsetting as that can be, it also takes all of the responsibility off of us. This is a relief to our brain, because it is always looking to conserve energy. It’s our default setting.
So when you feel like you’re losing control over your children or some other area in your life, look for what you can control.
When it comes to other people (even our children), you’re right – we can’t control them. Teens lie, don’t get the grades we want, make the wrong friends, make dangerous choices, don’t clean up after themselves, and the list goes on.
Our thoughts, emotions, and actions are what we can control.
I didn’t always believe that. I thought there was no way to change the resentment I felt towards my mom, because it was HER actions that caused them. I thought I can’t help but feel frustrated and yell when my students don’t listen to me.
The reality is nothing can cause me to feel something other than the thoughts I have about it.
Which gives me back my control, and you can reclaim control too.
Then we can make decisions about moving forward from a much more intentional place, creating the relationships and results we want.
I now coach teens and parents. Use the link below to meet with me and see what coaching can do for your family!